Now I had developed those lines into a range of greetings cards, would anyone share my unusual brand of humour? I wondered. The answer after presenting my wares to all and sundry was an emphatic ‘NO!’. They were either too caustic or not sufficiently lewd to be considered appropriate for the variety of happy occasions that warranted splashing out a few quid on. Try another country, I was advised, preferably one that didn’t speak English!

Was I disappointed after this first foray into the creative world? The answer was obviously not sufficiently. You see, I thought they just didn’t get it! The other reason was that I had successfully failed at other ventures before, so being met with a lack of enthusiasm was nothing new. The difference this time was that I believed that I had something to offer. My family had always told me that I had an artist’s temperament, so I knew I was already half way there. Now I had to establish whether I had the talent!

Next, I tried my hand at coming up with an amusing story, which brought me into contact with Ray a director of both film and TV. He liked the idea of my title ‘In the Balance,’ which was a story about a failed clothing manufacturer with singing aspirations who, through a twist of fortune ends up as President of the United States. Ray thought I should write a ‘treatment’, which I soon discovered was the fancy film term for a synopsis. We hit it off immediately.

Unfortunately, our budding friendship was based on a mutual misapprehension. He thought he’d found a producer to finance his directing skills and I thought he would make my tale magically appear at the next Cannes Film Festival. When we discovered the errors of our ways we had already committed to putting on our first theatrical production!